Let's Beef Up the Winter Olympics

Did you see the NFC championship game? It was great! Back and forth leads, full on contact, overtime! It was such an entertaining matchup! Doesn’t it get you all excited for the Winter Olympics?!

Yeah, me neither.

The Winter Olympics are an excuse for people who play obscure sports to compete on TV. We know that the Greeks didn’t figure skate. And they didn’t have rifles to cross country ski from target to target. It really doesn’t make much sense, and it doesn’t have quite the entertainment value of the real Olympics. Let’s face it, Apolo Anton Ohno isn’t going to get a picture taken of him hitting a bong and then proceed to have all of his posters taken down in the YMCA’s where kid’s who are idolizing him practice.

So how do we fix the Winter Olympics? Make it like football: full contact. Every sport. Speed skating could be like roller derby with blades. You can attempt to block long jump skiers before they hit the ramp. Don’t curl with stones on ice, let’s make it a bomb! Let’s put two bobsleds on the same track and let them fight each other as they descend like a scene out of Mad Max.

Would I tune in then? Yes. I would watch it if it had such a gladiator aspect. And honestly, I think this is what it takes to make people tune in this winter: life and death scenarios. Otherwise, it just looks like the UN got a snow day and sent some really athletic people to go sledding. Luge, bobsled, skeleton, ski, snowboard, etc… we get the idea, you’re going down a snow-covered hill really fast. I’d rather watch the chubby fifth grader go down the hill and right into a hay bail or tree on his snow day than watch a world class athlete go down as quick as possible for a medal.

What a novel idea!: Part I

"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean."

-Robert Lewis Stevenson (that guy who wrote Treasure Island, I guess.)


So I got a bright idea about two months ago. As I examined my first semester of school, I started realizing it was a great story. I caught this hint because I found myself telling people the story over and over. Now, not the entire story, of course. I'd tell bits here and there. But I realized two months ago that each event tied to another event, and they all tied into a larger story.

That's when I got it: write a story about your first semester of school.

Well, I'll assure you, this idea was not strongly executed right off the bat. However, in the month of November, I somehow managed to scrap up about three chapters. They were total crap. I put it down because I got busy. Also, I was still attached to the story, if that makes sense at all. The tale had not resolved itself properly yet.

I sat at home over Christmas break, and out of sheer boredom, decided to give this another shot. So far, I added a prologue and revised my first chapter. And it's much more entertaining now.

So here's the trick; I have to figure out what I'm going to put in and what I'm going to edit out. Names for sure fall in this category. If you know me, and when you read the little portion about me writing a story the thought of "oh crap," popped in your head, I've changed your name. In addition, I've gotta figure out how honest I'm actually going to be. The full potential of the story can get messy because 1) misery is very entertaining and 2) I don't tend to share every thought in my head, even if it is profound.

So we'll see how this turns out. I'm not sure that I'm about to become the next Fitzgerald or Kerouac. But I'm curious.

Why do people climb tight wires across buildings? I have no idea. But it sure is amazing. Maybe they do it just to prove they can. That's how I feel. I want to write my story because I think it's worth telling and to prove I can do it.

Lions, Enigmas, and Trail Mix

Another year closes. Which brings me to the future.

Let's not talk about the past. The past is predictable and already handled. Now the future is another animal. And that's exactly how I like to think of it. I picture the future kinda like a lion and I'm standing with a whip and four legged chair in the center ring of a circus while everyone watches to see what I'm going to do with the beast before me.

Which brings me to ways I've been told to attack the future.

The first was simple: Figure out what you're good at and find a way to make money doing it. Unfortunately, I've discovered a great lack of prestige in any central ability in my life. I'm mostly "ok" at everything I attempt, which leads me to believe that I excel in being mediocre.

Which brings me to the second theory.

My dad told me to find out what you love to do, and figure out how to get paid doing it. This way, there's no pressure to be good at anything I guess. The difficulty is when one grows apathetic. Not that I consider myself completely apathetic, but "what I love" is difficult even for me to pinpoint easily, so how am I supposed to find a way to milk an enigma for what it's worth and make a living?

Which brings me to a revelation I have recently had at the tail end of this decade.

The best things in my life were dropped in my lap.

So here I am fretting about my future and how to get to some mysterious place where I'm considered "well off" by the general public. But the best things in my life were never earned in any great scheme. The ones I love were never manipulated into my life. They were just there. So as I try to figure out what I'm going to "do with my life," what can I honestly strive for if the best things in life aren't earned?

Which brings me to a sloppy and odd conclusion.

Have you ever seen Saving Private Ryan? There's a scene in which Private Ryan kneels down next to his wounded savior, Capt. John Miller, on a bridge as he begins to die. And as he looks into Ryan's eyes, his last words are "earn this." Ryan's freedom is there, and he cannot lose it. But he is told that he must earn this.

And that's how I feel about it all I guess. If the best things in my life never show up through my own doing, why do I strive to live well and be proficient? Because when you look at my life, I want people to think that I deserve this I suppose. I can't earn this. But I should rightfully strive towards a point in which I'm worthy of blessings I can't gain by my own merit.

It's food for thought. It's more mixed up than trail mix, but it's food still. Trail mix for thought.

15 Best Albums of the Decade

Well everyone's doing it. The best-of's for another decade. So I thought I'd put forth my best effort. These were personal choices, and not necessarily the greatest, just my favorites. So don't give me that "where's Sufjan?" or "did you not hear Arcade Fire's debut!?" I did hear it. I liked it. But this list is made of my favorites. Ones that meant a lot this decade, and ones that I ran into the ground. And it wasn't easy! It started as a list of 10, and I had to bump it up to 15. Honorable mentions on the list should be noted, and include albums by Bjork, Tegan & Sara, Nine Inch Nails, Silversun Pickups, and more. But alas, without further a do:

15: Cease to Begin by Band of Horses

I can't figure out Band of Horses, and that's why I love them. They look like mountain men and can somehow place dreamy alternative ballads and hill billy rock on the same album.

14. Favourite Worst Nightmare by Arctic Monkeys

I thought it was stereotypical at first. Then listened. It ain't. Some tracks make me feel like I walked into a scene right out of Austin Powers. The drums blow you away, and the lyrics crack you up.

13. For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver

This album could have made the list off the first five songs alone. Possibly the most influential folk album of the decade, the raw emotion seeps through in every melancholy lyric.

12. Dear Science by TV On the Radio

Yeah, not really sure how to describe this one. Sorry if you haven't heard it, but you have to in order to understand what I mean. A bohemian collection of anthems from track to track. So many sounds thrown into a musical stir-fry for your hungry ears, it's crazy.

11. Beggars by Thrice

One of the most recent ones on my list. I think it's the best album of this year. Thrice was a good band to begin with, but hearing the talent that resounded when they chose to produce it themselves is fantastic. They are so much more than the hardcore band they were when the debuted. They've taken the decade to mature, and this is their skillfully executed album to date.

10. Stadium Arcadium by Red Hot Chili Peppers

You were under a rock if you didn't hear this album at some point. This album stayed in my car for a solid month before I changed it. And even then, i just changed discs. Whatever Red Hot Chili Peppers manages to cook up is high quality, but this time they managed to provide a big quantity as well.

9. Planet of Ice by Minus the Bear

It saddens me greatly how few people have heard this. The guitar playing is so talented. But here's the kicker: it's talented and not distracting. How many times have I heard awesome guitar playing that came off cheesy in the midst of poor song writing? Several times, but this album is not one of those times.

8. Mean Everything to Nothing by Manchester Orchestra

This album may be why the left speaker in my car sounds like it's blown out. I got a chance to see these guys live this year. They rock just as well live as they do on the album, and that's really saying something. They're creating a style of their own, a southern flavored post rock that hopefully won't be going anywhere soon.

7. Kid A by Radiohead

I saw them live. Unbelievable. This album changed the direction of rock this decade by influencing every band that would proceed them. Some will disagree, and that's fine. It took me several times listening

to this album to fully appreciate it.

6. O by Damien Rice

No one utilizes dynamics the way Damien Rice does. It's almost painful how honest his lyrics are and how much emotion lace over his finger picked guitar.

5. A Ghost is Born by Wilco

I know everyone will say Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is where it was at. But this was the album that actually got me into their sound. I know there's song that has 10 minutes of static noise in it. I know Kidsmoke goes forever. But it was different, and it changed the music I listened to from then on.

4. Narrow Stairs by Death Cab for Cutie

Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick a Death Cab for Cutie album for this? They're all so good! I could choose this album on the artwork alone, but there's more to it than that. Narrow Stairs blended they're old underproduced sound with the creativeness brought forth on their later works. Oh, and they made an 8 minute single.

3. In Rainbows by Radiohead

I know I already said this, but they are unbelievably good live. Every song on this album completely captures an incredibly unique emotion. It's not just an album full of love songs. Subject matter ranges from sexism, to political empathy, to afterlife ponderings. And the music captures each of these perfectly somehow.

2. Futures by Jimmy Eat World

Again, awesome album art work. But in addition, this is to my memory, the first rock album I bought with my own money. Brilliant choice on my part.

1. Deja Entendu by Brand New

The best album made this decade. Emo? No. Well, maybe a little. But it changed the direction for the genre for all who followed them. They made it less poppy, and way more experimental. It rocked hard, and never lost the emotion. And the emotion was never simply anger, it was angst. It was sorrow. It was apathy. No doubt, my choice for the best album in ten years.

Power Rangers: the best show made in 20 years

Power Rangers. Everyone grew up on this show and there’s a reason: it was brilliant. But why? As children, we may not have been able to explain its glory, but as I become more collegiate, it becomes easier to explain. Some reasons are in the show’s nature, other’s are in the influence the show has had.

Let’s have a look at Power Rangers. One reason this show is sweet is that it was filmed in two countries. Japan did all of the crazy stuff with the aerobics and ninja stuff. They also had all of those nonsense scenes with the villains wearing rejected mascot outfits. Then we go over to America where they film all of the stuff with dialogue that no one remembers because I only tuned in for the action stuff.

In addition, every episode, no matter what, ended the same way. They’ve almost got the villain beat. He’s at the end of his rope. Then he gets zapped but that guy on the moon and gets natural villain enhancement, growing above the same building set they made for the last episode. So what are the Power Rangers going to do? Call on their Zords, gigantic mechanical animal fighting machines they pilot individually. They’ll rough each other up a bit before they finally decide to do what they did last time and combine their Zords to make a big man looking Zord who will bring the pain before shooting an orange beam that drops the enlarged villain before he explodes.

Power Rangers also managed to teach me all social stereotypes early in life. Let’s go with the color coordination first: the Black Ranger was a black guy, the Yellow Ranger was an Asian girl, and the pink ranger was the one white chick. There was a geek that was looked down on as the Blue Ranger; the Red Ranger was a white kid teaching karate like Mr. Miagi was his instructor. Oh, and don’t forget that the Black Ranger fought with dance moves at times…

This show’s influence is all over the place. The show has had 14 spinoffs of the original series, a feat that CSI has yet to reach. The series also managed to get two movies out of the show as well. With episodes now available on itunes, you too can relive the magic.

my hiatus

Looked at the journal today. I started keeping this journal over the summer. My original thought was how cool it would be to be one of those great post mortice authors some day like Emily Dickinson or something. It soon turned into a chronology of my summer and how I felt about things in my life so I wouldn't forget.

And so I picked it back up today.

Three entries in the past month. 3.

So why'd I drop the ball? And why do I care to ask? Because I think it tells more about me than anything in the pages of that book.

I have evolved into a college age hipster/yuppie. My mind doesn't work the same way. It's hilarious.

Let me run you through a typical day this summer for me:

>Wake up at 10

>Eat cereal and go to work

>Come back for a dinner break and watch tv

>Work til close

>Come back to clean up

>Go to a friend's house/ girlfriend's house/ have a couple of people over.

That was about it.

So, let me give you an idea of my past weekend:

>Get a group of friends to try and find a jazz club downtown in Cincinnati

>Pick up some more people and go to the Anchor at midnight for breakfast

>Wake up Saturday at noon and get pizza in Newport Kentucky

>Nap for a prolonged period of time

>Drive out to a friend's house to set up a fire

>Enjoy said fire with a group of friends

>Waffle House at 2 AM

>Wake up for church at an ungodly hour of 9 o'clock

>Drive with a group of friends out to a church of about 40 people, none of whom I've met

>Get Cici's with people from church.

>Nap for a prolonged period of time

Ok, so what am I getting at here?

If you haven't witnessed yourself change for the better with age the way I have as I look back on my journal, then you haven't lived yet. It is a huge breath of fresh air to know that things in your life are not constant and final. I have a contentment with how fragile I truly am. I'm not just talking about my metamorphosis into a coffee sipping, indie rocking, tight jean wearing yuppie. I'm talking about the enlightenment that occurs when you finally realize that your identity is found in more than what you do, where you live, and who you surround yourself with.

So there's no telling what will become of my journal. I might just start a new one. It seems fitting...

Vampires. Why?

Note: i make a newspaper for my floor called the Toilet Digest. it is hung in front of the urinals and stall doors to make the visit less of a drag. i write articles, and since most people don't live on my floor, i figured i will post articles from the newspaper from time to time.

without further a do...

I saw Van Helsing. It was awesome. Hugh Jackman brought his “a-game” and had a medieval machine gun that took out all kinds of gross vampires. Now, girls across America want to date these same beings that Van Helsing made melt with holy water.

So why vampires? They’re pretty hideous things in most tales. Why not something else? There are plenty of other nasty creatures out there for them to romance.

I think Twilight would be much more entertaining if they were all Frankenstein-like monsters rather than vampires. Just a bunch of guys walking around high school with machine parts sticking out of their necks talking like they burnt their tongues testing a car battery. Then there’s some cute emo chick who comes along and is strangely allured to the one with a six-pack that talks in few words, none of them distinguishable.

How about mummies? Nothing’s more romantic than a man who knows how to dress. Even someone else dressed him… when he died.

We could even go a sci-fi route with cyborgs. Just when the lady goes to hold his hand, she realizes it’s a ray gun!

Vampires are unoriginal. I guess I just don’t know what the big deal is for all these girls. I could mess my hair up and tell girls I was capable of killing them, but they would call the cops on me.