Ryan and Luke's Great Adventure: Pt. 3

After Ryan and I had picked up the necessary road needs (gas, vitamin water, yoohoo, etc.), we continued onward to my roommate’s house at midnight. My roommate, Aubrey, had offered us a place to stay since we couldn’t get a room in Chicago. And so we programmed our Garmin and let it lead us into the twilight.



We had already driven a couple miles west of Chicago to find a room, so it started our journey by taking us on interstate 80 towards Iowa. If you’ve never seen this road, imagine a straight line. A straight line that leads to nothingness. We tried playing louder music. We talked to stay awake. But there came a point when suddenly, the car started drifting slightly to the right. The tires vibrated on the rumble strips of the highway, and finally, after swerving back into the vacant highway, Ryan pulled over. Without saying any words, he put it in park and got out, as I too went around the back of the car, and for the first time, we decided to switch spots as I took the wheel.

About the time Ryan dozed off and I was 3 songs into Goo Goo Doll’s “Dizzy Up the Girl,” the road started getting sketchy. It looked like the roads on a tire commercial where someone almost hits Bambi or something of that nature. At one point, Garmin took me through a foggy town that was totally dead except for a big boat with a creepy light under an even creepier bridge. I drove through Silent Hill.




Finally, after a grueling drive, we arrived. We pulled into Aubrey’s cul-de-sac where I gave Aubrey a big hug. We basically snuck into the house and up to his room. Ryan and I ended up sharing Aubrey’s bed and he took the couch in the living room.

Luke: We made it man.
Ryan: Yup. I’m so tired.
Luke: Night
Ryan: Night
Luke: . . .
Ryan: . . .
Luke: Dude we rode go-carts today!

***

When I woke up, I could hear voices walking around upstairs. I didn’t want to freak anyone out so I just stayed put. Eventually after waiting around though, I decided to go find Aubrey. As I opened the bedroom door, I saw his little brother peeing in the bathroom with his pants at his ankles and a little sister dropping a pile of laundry in shock. Way to give em the heads up, roomie. I finally ended up introducing myself and telling them who I even was. They were all very nice.

As we walked up to the entrance of a Denny’s later, Aubrey looked at us and asked if we wanted to get some big sandwiches we couldn’t get anywhere else. In the spirit of the road trip, we turned around and followed him to the Spotted Cow. Everyone should eat at The Spotted Cow. It’s terrible for your body and great for your soul. I got the pastrami burger: a cheeseburger with pastrami on top of it. Ryan got an Italian beef sandwich that had so much meat some people couldn’t have bench pressed it. It was phenomenal. We talked for a while, and finally we were off again and headed east.





Our next pit stop was hours later in Indianapolis. A friend of mine, Tori, lived there, and it gave us an excuse to stretch our legs and get some ice cream. I hadn’t seen her since school had ended in May, and it was good to catch up about summers and such over Cold Stone.



I decided to take the wheel for the rest of the trip and we set out for home sweet home Ohio. I knew a friend of mine, Matt, lived close to Dayton, so I figured we could stop by for dinner and see what he had to offer. Unfortunately, he lived in Miamisburg, which was halfway between Dayton and Cincinnati, unbeknownst to me. I told him beforehand over the phone that we would have to be quick if we wanted to dodge the terrible weather on our way home.

As we arrived at his house, his mom and his cat, Agent Jack Bauer, greeted us. His mom is a very animated lady and made sure we had a seat and told us all about the trip and our summers. It was like a sitcom really. Then we went to a local place to eat that was just as kooky. It was the most stereotypical sports grill ever, complete with trivia over the PA system. I loved it.



After convincing his parents that we were fine to drive home at 10 o’clock, we were on the road. It was lightning, and I was pretty worried, but we set the Garmin, and let it guide us. We came out on interstate 71, 50 miles from Columbus. This meant we had at least a 3 hour drive ahead of us. It was just sprinkling, with lots of lightening in every direction. It was very cool and even surreal. Then, after a moving lightening, there was a moving wind. Before we knew it, the heavens were dropping buckets all over the highway sideways. I could only see about 10 feet in front of the car so we found a gas station.



It was a half hour later after we had played and completed games in the atlas that the rain died down enough. At 11 o’clock, we were back on the road, nearly home. 150 miles doesn’t seem that intimidating after driving all day across Illinois and Indiana. We talked for the entire 3 hours of the drive. We don’t get to see each other enough anymore. After 7 years of leaning on each other, it is difficult to have a friendship like that when we live so far apart. Going to Chicago was more than a couple of college kids getting an adventure. I wouldn’t have gone with just anyone. It’s a blessing that we are still investing in each other as friends even after the distance and all these years.

Who knows what the two of us will get into next summer.

Ryan and Luke's Great Adventure: Pt. 2

So after deciding that our Garmin didn't know what it was talking about, I pulled out the atlas and looked through which streets were which. We managed to cross the river and park underneath Grant Park / Millennium Park. And so without any plans, we submerged from the parking dungeon to beautiful, buzzing Chicago.



For those of you who know Chicago fairly well, you're aware that Millennium Park is definitely one of the things to check out. It's in the middle of down town for the most part; a short walk to the Lake Michigan coast and about two miles south of the John Hancock Building. So we decided to do all of the great touristy things in Millennium Park. We saw the amphitheater, the fountains, and of course the Millennium Bean. It really is pretty impressive. Odd. But kinda cool.



After looking at the Lake Michigan coast for a solid 10 seconds, we decided to go find the John Hancock Building. Now a lot of people go to cities to see particular things. When you're in Chicago, nearly everything is worth seeing. The river. The magnificent mile. Recognizable streets from movie sets. Those two buildings from the cover of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.



We finally got to the John Hancock Building. The observation deck was mind boggling. Your ears pop in the elevator. And then, you can see for miles.



We had a girl take our picture. The picture didn't really turn out very well so it's not really worth showing. The true point of this story is the chick who took it. She suggested that we should take it facing south so we got more of the skyline. And we agreed. Casually, Ryan and I started chatting her up a little bit. Nothing. Stoic even. This blonde hipster wannabe was not having any us. She kinda gave us the look that said "I wish you two would throw yourselves out the window." And she took a crappy photo.

After returning to street level, we decided it was dinner time. I texted my good friend from school who is native to Chicago to ask what the best deep dish pizza was. He told us Gino's East was where it was at. So we tracked it down and got a table. Ryan and I were stuck between two terrible tables. It was the same deal at both of them; two fairly well off tourist families who thought they were entitled to something great simply by existing. If that was the cause, the effect was constant whining about everything. However, Ryan and I were just in it for the adventure, so we were down for anything.

Thus, we got the sampler platter. Our first mistake. 4 mozzarella sticks. 4 spinach sticks. Calamari. What were we thinking? Somehow we thought "Oh the pizza's going to take a bit to make? Well we might as well kill, no wait, obliterate our appetites by the time this already oversized pizza comes out to serve two."



Then the pizza arrived. It was a monster. It was a gigantic, greasy, cheesy, gooey, deep dish monster. I wish I could tell you that we went to town on it. I really wish I could say, "I enjoyed this pizza like it was my last meal on death row." But that's just not the case. I maybe ate one piece before deciding that if another bite went down my throat, I was going to hurl everywhere. And as I sat half in a daze, I saw her. Blondie. That stupid chick who couldn't even smile at us. I motioned to Ryan.

Luke: Check it out.
Ryan: Oh. Her again.
Luke: She's stalking us.
Ryan: Well yeah. Why wouldn't she?

After our treacherous hike through the gorgeous twilight skyline...

... we arrived at the car and put in a hotel address...

... and after driving for a half hour ...

... we realized that the hotel did not exist. But we drove around a bit and found a Motel 6. Terrifying as it was, we were content to pay only $50 bucks for a room, even if the mugging and stabbing was free. After doing paper work at the desk, the man asked to see Ryan's ID. "Oh, you got a while man. You can't even get a room yet!"

So now we are sitting in the parking lot wondering what to do. So we stroll down to the Holiday Inn. "Do we have to be 21 to get a room here?" Yes we do. Crap. So we drove laps around the hotel at higher speeds than I was comfortable with. This is when I remembered that my roommate, Aubrey, lives in Illinois. I figured it was worth a shot, and so did my road companion.

Luke: Aubrey, hey what's up?
Aubrey: Hey Luke!
Luke: So we're in Chicago.
Aubrey: Really? Wow that's awesome.
Luke: Yeah, here's the thing man, we don't have anywhere to stay.
Aubrey: Oh man. Have you tried all the hotels?
Luke: I think it's a state law or something. How far away is Peoria?
Aubrey: Oh geez, that's 3 hours. If you guys are willing to drive you can stay here.
Luke: Could we? Will you still be up?
Aubrey: Yeah, I'll still be up.
Luke: Ok, well if you text me your address, we'll put it in the GPS and get there.
Aubrey: Ok buddy. See ya.
Luke: See ya in three hours.

After we finished peeing on the side of the Holiday Inn, we logged in Aubrey's address. At eleven o'clock at night we set out with our anticipated time of arrival reading 2:34.

To be continued...

Ryan and Luke's Great Adventure: Pt. 1

Sometime back in July, it was 2 AM in Andrea's basemen as Ryan and I tried to stay awake. We were on the final installment of the Back to the Future trilogy when we began to talk about how we should do something great before we went back to school. The obvious pick was a road trip. But where to?

Luke: "How about Nashville?"
Ryan: "No! That's a tourist town. We're not going to a tourist town."
Luke: "Wha?"
Andrea: "He's right."
Luke: "Well we have to have a good road. Like, we need to have a long drive if it's going to be a road trip."
Ryan: "Well ok, but where?"
Luke: ...
Andrea: ...
Ryan: "Do you have a passport?"

We deliberated for quite some time. Weeks even. For a while, the destinations was the Ben & Jerry's Factory in Vermont. Then we were all set to go to Toronto. Finally, we decided on Chicago, taking Highway 30 straight there. And after loads of planning (packing clothes in a backpack and charging our phones), we set out on our great adventure.

I started the day off right with a McDonald's coffee and breakfast sandwich, while Ryan went with a coffee from Speedway. It was very rainy in the morning as we drove through the more Amish area of Ohio.



After the coffee and breakfast disaster on an English muffin, nature called and Ryan and I were desperate to find a toilet. We finally turned into a small speck in the middle of a corn field called Bucyrus. We searched through Bucyrus for a restaurant. Then we found Bucyrus High School. Conveniently, it was a teacher in service day. We marched past the office assistants, found the restroom, and took care of everything. As we did a donut and peeled out of the parking lot, we ditched our trash in the neighbor's garbage can.

At some point we got to Indiana. Indiana was home to the worst drivers we saw. If you are from Indiana, I pity you. But alas, I regress. We stopped for gas and decided to look for a Qdoba because you only live once. Garmin set up a route that took us right through Ft. Wayne. Fair enough. A half hour we finally arrived, gorged ourselves, and were off. We decided to not get the cashier's number, even though it was quite obvious there was natural chemistry. What a shame. But that's life on the road. I imagine it's how Poison used to feel.

When we were nearly to Illinois, Indiana finally provided some noteworthy pit stops.

Ryan: "Did you see that!?"
Luke: "That's a dragon!"
Ryan: "Did they have go carts!?!?!"
Luke: "I'm looking!"
(Pause)
Luke: "Yup, turn this thing around!"

I don't know what celestial being inspired the creation of this wonder world, but it was phenomenal. Putt putt. Batting cages. And of course, go carts.



The jury is still out on who won the contest. One thing is certain, we beat the tar out of each other in those little things.

As we continued on, we found another gold mine. As we took a last second 90 degrees turn at 45 miles per hour, we arrived at the Salvation Army. There, we found novelty shirts drenched in irony. Cheerleading camp. Bragging about grandchildren. Previous employment. Little league jersey. You never know what you'll find.



Finally, after driving through the ghetto, we arrived in Chi Town. It took us about 8 hours, but we had done it.



To be continued...